What’s stopping you?

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About a year ago I experienced something which I always thought was never really possible, I thought it was pipe theories and just motivational “bull crap”, but then I looked at it with logic rather than thinking about how I felt about what I heard, and something strange happened. I realised that actually, what people were saying at a seminar I went to, actually made full logical sense. But the cynic inside me said I needed evidence, what’s better than first hand evidence? So I got it. I want to share with you how I made it happen, how I got my evidence, the changes I made, and the effect it had, and I’m going to do that with you over a series of short digestible blogs so hopefully you can find inspiration and tools which will help you achieve what you want to achieve, because trust me, when you see how easy it is, and look at it logically, you will realise that you can do what you want , and get what you want, all you have to do is want it.

I’m not going to charge anyone to read this, I just want to share with you what others shared with me to achieve what I have over the past 12 months.

Just over 12 months ago, I hit rock bottom and was spiralling further into a rabbit hole of darkness, with no way out. I was failing, in my job, I was failing to support my family, and I was failing myself. My career in commercial radio was rapidly coming to an end, and I felt as though it was me, it was my fault, and that I had failed my family because I wasn’t making a success, I was no longer able to financially provide security and reassurance to my family, and I was in a “dark” place. I felt the world was against me, nobody wanted anything to do with me, and I was never going to amount to anything, I mean I failed at another job! What was I doing wrong, what was right, what could I make a career, and the answer was, “I have no idea” I made up this string of “excuses”, or so I thought… I had been preconditioned to come up with an “excuse” for why I couldn’t do what I really wanted; I couldn’t afford to relearn a career, I had no money to start a business, I would be risking my security or my family, I wasn’t educated enough, I didn’t have enough experience, I didn’t have the time, I couldn’t do it, how could I do anything, I’m just a fella living in a rough neighbourhood partial council estate in the middle of County Durham. Wow, check out all that negativity, it’s embarrassing now I look back. Then I realised after meeting some people and watching people talk on stage, and I used all the tools that I found comfortable for me, and I made “the change”. I changed the process of my thoughts, I looked at the rest of the world, how people worked, how they thought, what they had done to make a change, and what others hadn’t done.

I’d heard of motivational speaking before and seen it on YouTube and TV and though what a load of hippy clap trap, but you know what, it’s the best thing in the world, because it’s made me what I am today, without any great loss, sure it was hard, but when you loom at it, the principal seems easy. People say to me, if it’s that easy everyone would do it, my other half used to say it all the time, and now she’s realised what’s really going on. The simple fact is yes it is that easy, but people don’t do it, people don’t want to, they don’t feel they need to, they don’t believe it, they think it’s “too easy” and that it doesn’t work, they loose faith in it, they don’t stick to it, they don’t see it.

I got on a tube in London after a seminar, and a group of youths were sat listening to music and talking about things I didn’t really understand (I’m not as down with the kids as I’d hope to be…) and I looked at them and thought wow, all these people on this train are blinkered, they want to get home have tea go to bed, they are influenced by all the signs on this train, the words in the songs they listen to, their parents, their friends, they are most likely content, bored and not willing, bored and willing, or just acceptant of what they have. Most cases I would say are acceptant of bored and not willing. People accept that this is life and this is what “gods will” is or this is just how it is. Although media and poor hierarchy in is mainly to blame for this I believe, there are some people who question, and question, and question, then some people who question, answer and practice, and that’s your 1%, the people who make the difference are the people who question, answer and practice, they take what they learned from the question, and do it, they just do it. Richard Branson’s motto if you like, “screw it, let’s do it” in my opinion the best philosophy to have! If you spend the just 5 minutes more at work today, how much can you achieve, challenge yourself to do it, see what happens, work though, don’t just sit there, even if it’s preparing something for tomorrow, you’ll get in tomorrow and go, “oh I don’t need to do that I did it last night”, then how would you feel? Happy? Relieved you have less to do? What do you think will happen then? Feel more motivated maybe? Happier and less stressed? I think so! Imagine if that extra 5 minutes was a £500 sale! Whoa! You’d do that again wouldn’t you! See how doing these things helps positive mind set? What’s the worst that could happen if you just did something? Is it really that bad if there is something? What effect does it really have on your life? Is it worth the risk to improve your life by a considerable amount more? Of course it is! I came to realise, if I loose my job, what’s the worst that would happen? I dare say I’ve seen that… And to be honest is it really that bad? Well no, it’s exciting it anything! Imagine what you can do now!

Now ask your self, how bad do you want something? Can you attract it? If you think, I can’t have it, what do you think will happen? If you think I can have it, what do you think is more likely to happen? My life long dream, everything anyone asked me, was to own a coffee shop, and hey, guess what… I am opening one this month… In 12 months I went from clear depression and effectively loosing my job, to opening my dream business. How? You have to keep reading to get the whole picture. How bad do you want that dream you have? If a lot, ask your self this, is it realistic? If yes great, if not ask yourself why, and list those reasons, then ask yourself, what do I need to do to get that dream? What are the steps I need to take? What are the objections and the boundaries that are stopping me? Then for each one, what will it take to get rid of those objections, one by one, why are they objections? Are they really objections or just excuses which you have made up, because remember, excuses are what you make up. Yes you make them up, don’t you? Who else does? Your friends? The government maybe? Your the one stopping yourself here, your the one who is making those excuses stop you from doing things, what happens if you get rid of the excuse? Guess… It happens!

There was a girl, in the USA, she grew up in a rough neighbourhood, drugs, crime etc, she was raped and abused by her father at a young age, she turned to prostitution, she was a wreck… Now? She became the worlds first billionaire woman, and one of the most influential people in the world, her name? Oprah Winfrey.

There was a really old fella, in his late 60s, old, past it, should have been sitting in a retirement home, what was he doing instead? Well people always said he had the best damn chicken recipe in the world, so he said, well I wonder if someone will buy it, over 1200 times businesses said no to him, this guy was in his late 60s! 1200 nos! And then… A yes… And now we see KFC in just about every country on the planet, and also, do you think he’d have stopped at 1300 nos…? I don’t think so.

Finally, a fella in a wheel chair, can’t move, speak, feed himself, although he’s arguably the greatest mind on our planet… Professor Stephen Hawkins. Now think about your “excuses” you made up, your objections, do they exist? Probably not, if they do, how do you manage them? How do you over come them? Now here’s the secret to making it happen, just do it! Not tomorrow, now, do it now, what are you doing now that’s stopping you? Tired? Work tomorrow? Got to watch TV? They not just excuses again…? Yup! Can you over come them and make it happen now? YES! What’s stopping you? YOU! Don’t have enough money? How do you get it? What’s stopping you from getting it? Lack of education? Do you really need that? What can you do that doesn’t require that? Why aren’t you doing that? Don’t want to? What’s stopping you? YOU! See a common denominator here? You can do what you can you just have to make it happen, and the funny thing is, if you really want it, you will subconsciously make it happen, for example, if you want pizza tonight, how do you have pizza tonight? Go buy it? Put it in the oven? Then eat it. And look what happened, you made it happen by putting the processes into action to make it happen, then you may say, well my wife didn’t want to eat pizza, well what’s stopping you from having it and your partner having something else? Your partner? Is that not an excuse? Urm yes! Here’s a tip with this one, you make tea tonight, they are rarely going to object to that! And the. You make your pizza and your partner a fine cuisine if they really want, but least you still had your pizza. It’s not always about been selfish though, and doing things to only benefit you, you have I get a fine balance and appreciate other think and feel differently, other people are more attached to emotion or logic, it’s what makes life so diverse and interesting, respect it, help them, and support them too.

So what’s stopping you from getting what you want? Well you, you give yourself confidence, then you will begin to notice people start giving you it around you.

Make the difference, make it happen, spend an extra 5 minutes, and see what happens! There’s more you can make happen, and I’ll share it with you sometime soon.

In the mean time, please share if you found this inspirational, and make it happen, then tell me what happened! You will be amazed what you can attract and how you can attract it, you just have to attract it! Don’t think about not having it, think about having it!

What’s stopping you?

Dan